We’ve been blogging for a little while now, or rather I should say that Michael has and I’ve just shared his hard work… so I thought it only fitting to intermingle his rather eloquent words with my, lets call them ‘rugged’ ones.
I wanted to talk a little about where we’re at and I guess more specifically about how I feel at this point. This has all been a pretty interesting process and as things develop I find myself musing more on the way things were, how they are now and what continues to make me happy. In the early days of my musical adventure the only way you were ever able to rise above the noise, especially being from where we were from was to live it. Now this might sound romantic and in some ways it was but in many more it was unhealthy. Ambition is not the kind of thing you can just switch off and on, in fact over time it becomes more of a habit. The insatiable need to keep pushing forward regardless of what life throws in the way or how difficult it might seem, and by no means has this mentality left me. However, with age comes a little wisdom and what that brings is a little perspective, that’s why old people are so smug I guess. Only with time does life offer enough experiences for you to start to understand the little things. What really makes me happy? How best do I spend my time? What do I value most in life?
If my recent choices have taught me one thing the first would be that above all I value human experience. The way we live together, form friendships, create memories and how these things sometimes last decades. Our lives are other people and we define our own happiness by comparison. Nurturing these relationships is just as important as nurturing your own mental health. Only with other people can you begin to understand that you’re not alone in anything. Whether it’s feeling insecure or being obsessed with the future. Other people help us get that perspective.
One more thing I’ve learned recently is that it’s ok to take a little time. This was actually something that Michael impressed on me early on in our new-found partnership. Rome wasn’t built in a day and whether it’s in the context of presenting art of making new friends sometimes things just have to take their own time. I think this is the thing that I’ve found hardest to get my head around. Coming from the life I was living, precarious and draining and exciting, to where I am now it’s hard not to feel like you’re at square one. The thing is there’s actually nothing wrong with being at ‘square one’ and what even is that really anyway?
Above all there’s one thing that I’m completely certain of. I love the creative process… from inception to the reveal, the feeling that you’ve created something from nothing always fills me with pride and excitement. I can say with utter certainty that I’m the happiest I’ve been for maybe 4 years and that’s in no small part due to being able to create and present that vision to the world. The number on the receiving end is irrelevant, at this point at least. It’s the process that matters.
So thanks for entertaining the process and I look forward to giving you the next thing.