One night last week I was walking along City Road on the phone when something bumped into my shoulder, so I turned to see two people with helmets on, on a moped.

First instinct was that they were cutting across the wide pavement to skip the lights (people do worse to avoid London traffic), but then I noticed that they had a hold of the phone in my hand. It wasn’t until it was dragged out of my hand and they’d driven away that I yelled out, and a few seconds to figure out I’d just been robbed.

Picture me as the guy in the brown coat in this video, with look of “wait… what?!” on his face:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSE...

Let’s all move to Berlin, because...

Actually, I'll start from the beginning.

I’m a Londoner

I was born here, in Holloway, and I grew up at the end of the Northern Line in Barnet (as in “This train terminates at High…”). Since I left home, I’ve stayed in Camden, Kings Cross and Cannon Street, but mostly in Shoreditch. When I was studying in Bristol, I’d be back here once every few weeks for the weekend, or to play midweek gigs (always on a Wednesday for some reason). So except for seven months in Asia, I can safely say I’ve lived here almost all my life.

I love London. I’m struck weekly, if not daily, with new things that s...